just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
