Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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