mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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