Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
