So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
