ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
