your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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