what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
