I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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