I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
