I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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