'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
