what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i was born a porn star she said
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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