do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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