I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I will pee on everything he values.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
