too bad you live with your parents still
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
