OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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