never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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