I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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