I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
