I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
