Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
