I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
should my penis look like a turkey
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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