never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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