wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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