mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
