i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
