i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
