i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
