when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Randomize
