"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
