..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
