shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
