I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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