i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
