You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
