I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
