so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
