he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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