I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
love makes seman taste better
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
