I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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