If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
