We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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