So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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