The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
