Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
