Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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