I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
