similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
