i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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